Monday, April 16, 2012

Finish It, Before It Spreads

It's a weird feeling for me, finishing something I've been working on a while. I have no discipline in any aspect of my life (especially when CHOCOLATE is involved, am I right?? We have fun.) and writing is no different. I can't seem to function without juggling a few projects at one time, which slows down that beautiful event of actually. finishing. something.

So, a few months ago I randomly got an idea for a very strange horror story, one that seemed firmly half and halfsies in both gore and psychological territory. I enjoy both, a LOT, so that was exciting for me. I have a big problem with being too chatty and living inside a characters head without doing much in the way of action- I know, you wish I had a huge backlist you could just run out and buy right now, right? That said, I felt like this one had enough yucky plot stuff to justify (m)any inner monologues I might have snuck in there.

So... what to do with it? I've gotten conflicting opinions re: sitting on it for a collection or sending it out like it was a hot Saturday night. I mean, I guess it's good? I've read way worse, you know. No, really. It may have been on a bathroom wall but dammit, the plot thread was frayed. Short stories are kinda hard to deal with if you're not an Amy Hempel or a Clive Barker (hey, he's due for another collection if you ask me...) or a Gaiman. The most recent guy that I think blew mine and many others socks off starting with short stories was Joe Hill, and that's encouraging. It's a cool form, it's just not really stylish anymore. By "anymore" I mean since the 1980's, but whatever. It's what my brain wants to do right now. That and a screenplay, which is FANTASTIC for scattered brains like mine.

So like everything I'll just keep it, tenderly editing it here and there and then stare at it with increasing hostility and paranoia. I hope it somehow feeds on that.

So what do you do once you finally finish raising your word baby? Do you have an agent that just tells you the perfect thing, you fancy bastard? Are you laughing at my lack of direction right now because you have all the answers? Let me know in the comments, I love you guys!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Let's Raid the Pantry

"Why do you only have rice in your pantry?"

"I dunno, haven't gone shopping lately. Sorry."

"Fair enough, BUT I have never in my life seen you cook rice. Yeah. Look! The bag isn't even open."

"Alright, then open the bag and steam it or stir fry it or something if you're so hungry you're gonna be a judgmental prick."

"I bet you don't even have a pot. Or a pan?"

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I've only lived here a year and nobody likes you and now I know why."

"Fine. I got a coupon, I'll order a pizza. I was just saying..."

"You know what, get Chinese instead. For some reason I'm in the mood for rice."

"Ha haaaa! Actually, ok, I am too."